Monday, August 31, 2009

Brasil, Portuguese, Bossa Nova: The EX editions.

Some musings on some parts of the past I'm not quite "over" yet....

I've been wanting to watch Deus É Brasileiro for some time now, but I just haven't had the heart. I watched it only once before, while I was with Paul...Sad thing about making your Brazilian boyfriend your Brazilian EX-boyfriend is that you long for someone to watch and do Brazilian things with...but that ship's sailed...and anything else is a replacement. I guess you have to learn to appreciate some things alone. :(
It's a good thing I didn't really get into Bossa Nova a ton while I was with Paul or it would make me sad too. It makes me think, yes.....but it's not a purely Paul thing. My mom started to worry that my foray into Bossa Nova was a sign I wanted him back. .....No. It's not that. Thankfully, it has a distinguished place apart from him. I can't say the same for some other things....It's sad. I really did want to learn Portuguese someday...but now, for me, it's a language connected to a very specific set of feelings I'm not quite ready to face right now. Who's ever had to get over GRAMMAR after a break up?! Ridiculous, right? But that's the reality of it....So it'll have to wait... Although I'm not sure it'll ever be a neutral subject to me, emotionally.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I think I'm kind of lonely

 just an observation..and a quote to go with it.

"You seem embarrassed by loneliness-by being alone.
It’s only a place to start.

Previous quote and source:
"This is going to be the best thing we've ever seen."
Must Have Done Something Right-Relient K
(Five Score and Seven Years Ago)

And speaking of quotes...make your guesses and they'll keep
coming as they pertain to my life.
Like this next one.

"Moles and trolls. Moles and trolls. Work, work, work, work, work! We
never see the light of day. We plan this thing for weeks and all they
want to do is study. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry but it's not like me, I'm
depressed. There was what? No one at the mutant hamster races. We had
one entry for the Madame Curie look-alike contest and he was
disqualified later. Why do I bother?"

These ones should be really easy for a lot of you so make a guess
so I don't have to think,"Why do I bother?"

Friday, August 28, 2009

It's quotey quote time?!

Did anyone catch where that last post's title came from? If you did, you win....the parade...ALL of it in fact. With that said, I've decided to start quoting more....both in blog and in real life ...Because I LOVE quotes...and lyrics...and ALL sorts of awesome of that nature. (Also because I'm not really eloquent AT ALL by myself.) So who wants to play "Guess that quote!"?

"This is going to be the best thing we've ever seen" :P

I'm working on something. It's one of a million projects I've got going. For all intents and purposes it's just a mix CD. ..But one that's very close to my heart. It's going to be a mix of the songs and artists that have saved my life...with accompanying annotated lyrics. So yeah...that's that.

Dear Friends,

(mostly girl friends)
I could use some input.

I've dated my share of guys. I've had a handful of serious boyfriends, some fixer-uppers and lots of throw-aways. But here's the problem: I haven't had much fun doing it. Which seems absurd since many of you know how much I relish many aspects of the dating scene...Yet...Not much fun. I don't expect to find THE ONE any time soon. It could might not, but I know he'll be there when he's supposed to be so I'm not worried about it. ..But I'll certainly never find him if I don't get out and have some fun. So this is an open invitation to anyone who wants to point me in the right direction...or ANY direction, for that matter. I've been through a lot, so I'm up for anything--getting fixed up, getting the intel on what awesome guys are on missions that I should write for future fun, meeting whoever, etc. Anyhoo...let me know.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Work in Progress

These last 2 months have been the best and worst of my life. I think that's abundantly clear. I've dumped and been dumped. And although that was terribly unpleasant...I kinda wish that were the worst of my problems. :P Life is hard. That's all there is to it. If I may quote Princess Bride: "Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something." As it is, though..even though things are crazy hard...I'm fairly pain-free. :) Perspective is a wonderful thing. I've come to view things as they are. I know better now what's worth worrying about and what's not. The tricky thing is, though, that with that realization comes an awareness of how far I have to go. I'm doing well...but of course I could be doing better. I could read my scriptures more often, and schedule more effectively, and exercise more, and worry less, and do baptisms for the dead more often, and be a better sister/daughter/aunt/friend/cousin...etc.
I'm optimistic though.
I got a wonderful father's blessing last night and I feel like I can do this. ALL of this...and I have some killer personal revelation to back it up. Who's gonna argue with that?!
Anyhoo...this work in progress has some goals to set.
Later! :)

Saturday, August 22, 2009


Esta mañana tuvimos una fiesta para todos los niños de la Primaria en la casa del Presidente Richardson. Fue genial! Comimos hotdogs y chips, nadamos, jugamos juegos y más! Había aproximadamente 40 o 50 personas en asistencia (Líderes, niños, sus padres etc) y pienso que todos se divertieron muchisimo. Aun aprendí una frase nueva: "Hacer trampa" jaja! Tal vez no es algo que debría saber modo! Me encanta aprender. :) Por eso estoy muy emocionada que la escuela empieza otra vez para mí el lunes que viene. Va a ser un semestre muy difícil, pero voy a aprender tanto (especialmente del español). Voy a tomar Conversación y Composición avanzadas, Literatura de Americanos Españoles, y Sintaxis del español. Además tendré una clase de la Teoría Literaria y Cultural. Todavía tomo Coro y mis lecciones privadas de voz...aunque no estoy exactamente segura de que será de mi voz. Tal vez Dios trata de hacer lugar en que meter bendiciones u otros talentos dentro de mí...por sé. Sólo puedo esperar, orar, y trabajar tan duro como pueda.

This morning we had a party for all the primary kids at President Richardson's house. It was awesome! We ate hotdogs and chips, swam, played games and more! There were about 40 or 50 people in attendance (Leaders, kids, their parents etc.) and I think that everyone had a lot of fun. I even learned a new word in Spanish: "To cheat" haha! Maybe that's not something I should know how to say...but...whatever! I love to learn. :) So I'm really excited that school starts up again for me on Monday. It's gonna be a really hard semester, but I'm going to learn a ton (especially about Spanish). I'm taking Advanced Conversation and Composition, Spanish American Literature, and Spanish Syntax. I'm also going to have a Literary and Cultural Theory class. I'm still taking choir and my private voice lessons...although I'm not exactly sure what's going to become of my voice. Perhaps God is trying to make room for blessings or other talents in me....for now...I don't know. All I can do is hope, pray, and work as hard as I can.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

So I Got Dumped....

That one threw me for a loop...
I still have no idea why...and a certain someone wont let me be privy to that information.
....So I'm just gonna keep on keeping on. Sad and crappy? yeah. ...But as far as I'm concerned nothing has really changed. I finally got my priorities straight..and that's exactly where they're staying.'s everyone doing?

Monday, August 3, 2009


I've said that an update is long overdue to certain parties...So, parties (you know who you are)...this is it! Not in the way I've been getting the requests for. No, this will not be me spilling, giving details or filling in on the recent events of my life. That will have to wait for another time. It is however, the direct result of those recent events. Please allow Depeche Mode to help me explain what's come about for me in recent days. Not another stupid song, you say? That's fine. It doesn't bother me if no one listens...but if you do, kindly ignore the nice pictures of Depeche Mode and think on the words instead. :P

Peace will come to me
Peace will come to me

I'm leaving bitterness behind
This time I'm cleaning up my mind
There is no space for the regrets
I will remember to forget

Just look at me
I am walking love incarnate
Look at the frequencies of which I vibrate
I'm going to light up the world

Peace will come to me
Peace will come to me

I'm leaving anger in the past
With all the shadows that it caused
There is a radar in my heart
I should have trusted from the start

Just look at me
I am a living act of holiness
Giving all the positivity that I possess
I'm going to light up the world

Peace will come to me
Just wait and see
Peace will come to me
It's meant to be

Peace will come to me
Just wait and see
Peace will come to me
It's an inevitability

Though they express most everything I'm feeling quite well, I will make one change and say that Peace has come to me. Yes, I am stressed and busy and tired, but those are such little things to me now. In so many ways I feel more myself than I've ever been. It's as if I only just met myself for the first time two weeks or so ago.
I feel as though I've found the missing piece of me...or of the puzzle that is my life. There are no more question marks. Bitterness and regrets are becoming far off memories and I've, at long last, discovered my desire and ability to truly light up the world. I should have known all along-it truly was an inevitability.