Some musings on some parts of the past I'm not quite "over" yet....
I've been wanting to watch Deus É Brasileiro for some time now, but I just haven't had the heart. I watched it only once before, while I was with Paul...Sad thing about making your Brazilian boyfriend your Brazilian EX-boyfriend is that you long for someone to watch and do Brazilian things with...but that ship's sailed...and anything else is a replacement. I guess you have to learn to appreciate some things alone. :(
It's a good thing I didn't really get into Bossa Nova a ton while I was with Paul or it would make me sad too. It makes me think, yes.....but it's not a purely Paul thing. My mom started to worry that my foray into Bossa Nova was a sign I wanted him back. .....No. It's not that. Thankfully, it has a distinguished place apart from him. I can't say the same for some other things....It's sad. I really did want to learn Portuguese someday...but now, for me, it's a language connected to a very specific set of feelings I'm not quite ready to face right now. Who's ever had to get over GRAMMAR after a break up?! Ridiculous, right? But that's the reality of it....So it'll have to wait... Although I'm not sure it'll ever be a neutral subject to me, emotionally.
1 comment:
You're not ridiculous. There are so many things that are essentially ruined for me simply by association. There are songs, perfumes, shirts, and shoes that I can no longer bear to think about or even look at, let alone wear because they remind me of past...grievances.
I've had to cut a lot out of life because of it but thankfully, that is not going to happen again. yay for being married forever.
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