September 25th, I met Sam. Our first date was one week later-October 2nd. We were engaged 10 days later. And about ten hours ago he informed me that we are not at all right for each other and that he doesn't really believe we have a connection...
and there it ended.
What can I say? .....I'm completely crushed.
I didn't think I could get hurt any worse than I've already been.
.....I stand corrected.
I'm so tired of building my life only to get it torn down.
I don't want advice. I don't want to talk about it. Honestly, I don't really feel like existing right now. I don't feel like anything right now. I don't want to be or do anything. I see very little merit in anything, despite my logical brain's insistence that some things are still okay.
I realize just how depressed and depressing this sounds. That is with very good reason...because I am very very depressed. Once again....collapsing on myself like a dying star.
I don't know if I could survive another one of these.
...That's what I say every time. ...but somehow I survive long enough for someone better to show up and more effectively break my heart. The more amazing they are, the more efficient they get at that. I wish I could just call them jerks...but few really are...most are just poor fools like me. They irk me and make me cry...and I love them and pity them.
What a horrible day.
...and to clarify....this rant requires no comments....but I wouldn't remove your right to give them freely, if you so desire.
3 comments:
Just so you know...we love you. Hang in there.
I just want to give you a great big hug right now. Love you, honey!
>--------hug--------<
I hope this hard time will pass quickly for you. I'm sorry you're having so many low points. <3 you.
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