Work in Progress

These last 2 months have been the best and worst of my life. I think that's abundantly clear. I've dumped and been dumped. And although that was terribly unpleasant...I kinda wish that were the worst of my problems. :P Life is hard. That's all there is to it. If I may quote Princess Bride: "Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something." As it is, though..even though things are crazy hard...I'm fairly pain-free. :) Perspective is a wonderful thing. I've come to view things as they are. I know better now what's worth worrying about and what's not. The tricky thing is, though, that with that realization comes an awareness of how far I have to go. I'm doing well...but of course I could be doing better. I could read my scriptures more often, and schedule more effectively, and exercise more, and worry less, and do baptisms for the dead more often, and be a better sister/daughter/aunt/friend/cousin...etc.
I'm optimistic though.
I got a wonderful father's blessing last night and I feel like I can do this. ALL of this...and I have some killer personal revelation to back it up. Who's gonna argue with that?!
Anyhoo...this work in progress has some goals to set.
Later! :)

Hola

Esta mañana tuvimos una fiesta para todos los niños de la Primaria en la casa del Presidente Richardson. Fue genial! Comimos hotdogs y chips, nadamos, jugamos juegos y más! Había aproximadamente 40 o 50 personas en asistencia (Líderes, niños, sus padres etc) y pienso que todos se divertieron muchisimo. Aun aprendí una frase nueva: "Hacer trampa" jaja! Tal vez no es algo que debría saber decir...pero....ni modo! Me encanta aprender. :) Por eso estoy muy emocionada que la escuela empieza otra vez para mí el lunes que viene. Va a ser un semestre muy difícil, pero voy a aprender tanto (especialmente del español). Voy a tomar Conversación y Composición avanzadas, Literatura de Americanos Españoles, y Sintaxis del español. Además tendré una clase de la Teoría Literaria y Cultural. Todavía tomo Coro y mis lecciones privadas de voz...aunque no estoy exactamente segura de que será de mi voz. Tal vez Dios trata de hacer lugar en que meter bendiciones u otros talentos dentro de mí...por ahora...no sé. Sólo puedo esperar, orar, y trabajar tan duro como pueda.



This morning we had a party for all the primary kids at President Richardson's house. It was awesome! We ate hotdogs and chips, swam, played games and more! There were about 40 or 50 people in attendance (Leaders, kids, their parents etc.) and I think that everyone had a lot of fun. I even learned a new word in Spanish: "To cheat" haha! Maybe that's not something I should know how to say...but...whatever! I love to learn. :) So I'm really excited that school starts up again for me on Monday. It's gonna be a really hard semester, but I'm going to learn a ton (especially about Spanish). I'm taking Advanced Conversation and Composition, Spanish American Literature, and Spanish Syntax. I'm also going to have a Literary and Cultural Theory class. I'm still taking choir and my private voice lessons...although I'm not exactly sure what's going to become of my voice. Perhaps God is trying to make room for blessings or other talents in me....for now...I don't know. All I can do is hope, pray, and work as hard as I can.

So I Got Dumped....

That one threw me for a loop...
I still have no idea why...and a certain someone wont let me be privy to that information.
....So I'm just gonna keep on keeping on. Sad and crappy? yeah. ...But as far as I'm concerned nothing has really changed. I finally got my priorities straight..and that's exactly where they're staying. So....how's everyone doing?

Peace

I've said that an update is long overdue to certain parties...So, parties (you know who you are)...this is it! Not in the way I've been getting the requests for. No, this will not be me spilling, giving details or filling in on the recent events of my life. That will have to wait for another time. It is however, the direct result of those recent events. Please allow Depeche Mode to help me explain what's come about for me in recent days. Not another stupid song, you say? That's fine. It doesn't bother me if no one listens...but if you do, kindly ignore the nice pictures of Depeche Mode and think on the words instead. :P




Peace will come to me
Peace will come to me

I'm leaving bitterness behind
This time I'm cleaning up my mind
There is no space for the regrets
I will remember to forget

Just look at me
I am walking love incarnate
Look at the frequencies of which I vibrate
I'm going to light up the world

Peace will come to me
Peace will come to me

I'm leaving anger in the past
With all the shadows that it caused
There is a radar in my heart
I should have trusted from the start

Just look at me
I am a living act of holiness
Giving all the positivity that I possess
I'm going to light up the world

Peace will come to me
Just wait and see
Peace will come to me
It's meant to be

Peace will come to me
Just wait and see
Peace will come to me
It's an inevitability


Though they express most everything I'm feeling quite well, I will make one change and say that Peace has come to me. Yes, I am stressed and busy and tired, but those are such little things to me now. In so many ways I feel more myself than I've ever been. It's as if I only just met myself for the first time two weeks or so ago.
I feel as though I've found the missing piece of me...or of the puzzle that is my life. There are no more question marks. Bitterness and regrets are becoming far off memories and I've, at long last, discovered my desire and ability to truly light up the world. I should have known all along-it truly was an inevitability.

Greetings, World!

I probably should have already posted some random things about what I've been up to since the truly fateful break-up. I've been keeping myself quite busy, indeed. Most notably: I've been spending time with my amazing, wonderful, brilliant family of geniuses. :) They are the best. No arguments, my friends. That is the final word on the matter. :D

I've also taken up Kundalini Yoga. It's insane, and I've never felt so good in my life. I'm completely addicted...just beware, though, that if you're going to try it..you're probably going to feel pretty dumb doing it at first..because it looks really dumb. ...but Oh it feels so good! It kicks my trash every time...but I always feel like I just took a nap or something afterward..I never get that tired "I just exercised" feeling. :)

Check it out. www.raviana.com ...And if you end up wanting to buy, all of their dvd's (that I know of) are cheaper on amazon.
Have a good nap! :P

Something else:
I've bounced Waaaaaaaaaaaay back!
I'm dating this really great and amazing guy! Almost everyone in my family refers to him as "Ryan from the train" because he and I met on the light rail. Now, Melissa usually has an unhealthy penchant for bad-boys or fixer-uppers...and he is NEITHER. So...I'm still kind of figuring out what it's like to be with a guy I don't have to FIX or that is really actually no good for me. What a relief to just be me and not have some PROJECT of a man to work on!

"Nobody sits like this rock sits. You rock, rock! The rock just sits and is. You show us how to just sit here and that's what we need." :)

So this is what HAPPY feels like!

For Your Information

Paul and I broke up. We were together for a year and (almost) four months. A fortnight ago everyone at church was asking us when we would get married...and to make sure they'd get an invite...and now.......well...the rest is silence. For a good week and a half I didn't say a word. I just collapsed on myself like a dying star. Crying at all hours and not admitting why. I can't say I want to talk about it...or even write about it. I just think people should probably hear it from me if they're going to hear it. And for the record...I did the breaking.
Jim Croce says it all better than I ever could.

Healthy Eating Endeavours

So...I'm trying to get healthy.

Trying isn't turning out great just about now. It was awesome for a week and a half...but I'm going to need to re-group and re-motivate. I'm an odd sort of health nut. I'll shy away from high fructose corn syrup and red 40, but then pick up that cheesecake anyway...twice. I also read labels incessantly. Good...but also bad. I know exactly what I'm getting myself into...or what I'm getting into myself..but I'm liable to just say "screw it" and eat it anyway.
My goal has been to just be more mindful of all that...and say "screw it" less. I figure that if I can just put a little more thought into these things, I'll end up doing a lot better. And it's been working. But these last couple of days have been "oh well" sort of days. We all have them. So...four pieces of boredom cheesecake eating later....it's time to start over again.
Funny thing about the cheesecake..and my label reading...is that I read the labels of two different types of pre-packaged cheesecakes today: plain and berry. Plain had 20 less calories per serving...So..plain won the battle. I just think that's a weird thing to be comparing such minute calorie values on. I mean...obviously I was going to be eating cheesecake either way....so whichever I choose is probably not the best choice most of the time...but still...my label reading won out and shaved 20 calories off of every slice. algo es algo. Yeah...I'm sure the pounds'll just melt away now..... :P What a wonderful world that would be. :)